Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Yeah that whole Pregnancy Thing

Sep 3, 2008


That caption is probably true - we do bite. So since the boss has been pregnant for, you know, about eight months now; I think I've started to draw some conclusions.


I think being pregnant kind of sucks. I mean I realize that there's this instantaneous bond between mom and child immediately, given that she pushed the kid out and all. But seriously, at what cost?


I mean you put on like 20% increase in body weight (although for me it would only be 1%), you end up waddling around for a couple of months with none of your clothes fitting, out of breath walking up a flight of stairs, has to pee like every eight seconds, and can't sleep through the night. What a joyous life affirming experience (and, no, I really am not trying to be flip). At the end of term you get to look forward to pushing a bowling ball out an opening the size of a quarter. Yeah - that sounds awesome. Sign me up.

Now don't get me wrong - there are some really cool things about being pregnant.  First off, you can balance a bowl of ice cream on your belly perfectly when you want to eat it.  It's like having your very own personal table.  That's kind of cool.  And if you have a car loving three year old,  you can make belly mountain - and have all your matchbox cars zoom up belly mountain and have them race down the (very steep) hill.  That's cool.  Fun for the whole family.  And lastly - when you feel the kick - and you're like 'holy crap, something is actually growing inside of me'  While freaky and kind of alien - that's pretty cool too.


Julie has mentioned now several thousand times that she wishes that just for a week I could experience what she is going through. Obviously that implies that I am not sympathetic enough. And I try, I really do try to be sufficiently sympathetic.  Although sometimes when I'm a little fired up at her, I leave crap on the floor just so she has to bend down and pick it up.

I don't actually do that, but she is convinced that I do.

Anyway,  I don't really need to go through that. First, I don't deal with pain well and second, as Julie has pointed out repeatedly, I whine a lot - I couldn't handle it.

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